This Is Not A Love Song
Lets get one thing clear.
This is neither a love note,
Nor is it a defiant declaration of my love.
For you.
Love? Love you?
No way. How could I?
Not at all.
 
My emotions are not all tangled
And my heart is not torn with the stab of your rejection.
My eyes do not bear the weight of the sadness I feel.
I have not cried night after night wondering what
is so inadequate about me.
Wondering why you just could not love me.
 
How could I?
When the love that I've had for you is long gone
And the pain I feel so strong is not the reason I'm holding on.
You see if I did, hold on that is,
It would mean that the love I have for you
is deeper than the pain I feel.
 
But we all know it is not ,right?
Good.
Glad we could be on the same page.
 
 
 
xxx
Fabulo-la
9/05/2012 | Category: | 2 Fabulalalas

If This Isn't Love, Then Tell Me What Is.

It is not his looks that made me fall in love with the boy.
Neither is it the way he walks.
Or talks.
Nor that he can command a room and how.
I didn't fall in love with the boy because he is tall, dark and handsome.

The first time I heard him speak, I was intrigued and HAD to listen. 
The depth of his words drew me in and forced me to look beyond him, into him.

Then I decided I had to hear more.
The more I heard, I knew I could listen forever.
I want to listen forever.

I want to take his ideas and give birth to the realities of his vison.
I want to be the one he looks at, and says to everyone: She helped me.
I want to be his personal cheerleader.
I have to be there when the valleys show up, to hold his hand and urge him on.
I have to be his rock when the ground gets muddy.
I need to be there to see him fulfil his purpose.
I want to be the woman he needs.

But whats more, I need him to complete my photosynthesis and become the woman I am going to be.


I know.
He has annoying habits.
He snores like a chimney, and sometimes slobbers when he eats.
Sometimes he forgets to say 'Thank you'. 
Sometimes he refuses to clean up after himself.
He doesnt always say how he is feeling, and sometimes treats me like a child.

But what does all that matter, when I can clearly see the man he is meant to be?
The man he is going to be?

If this isn't love then tell me, what is?



xxx
Fabulo-la
8/03/2012 | Category: | 6 Fabulalalas

Yesterday
Yesterday I fell in love with a boy.
When he looked at me, my heart did cartwheels hoping it would fall and he would catch it.
When he touched me, my knees gave way hoping he would hold me.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
When he spoke he reminded me of Solomon with the integrity of Joseph.
His heart for God reminded me of David, his courage reminded me of Joshua.
When I looked at him, I saw him drenched in 1Corin15:58.

I wonder if he saw me?
Or perhaps, ... fell in love with me too?
Did his heart skip a beat when I smiled at him?
Did he long to hold me too, as I brushed past him?

When he looks at me, does he see the boldness of Esther,
aligned with the submission of Mary, engulfed by the tears of a praying Hannah?
Do I remind him of P31?

Yesterday, I fell in love with a boy.
But I wonder, will he fall in love with me too?



7/24/2012 | Category: | 6 Fabulalalas

Sometimes
Sometimes surrounded by the people I love most,

Sometimes deep in conversation with my very best friends,

Sometimes in the middle of a belly laugh,

Sometimes in the comfort of a hug,

Sometimes,

.

I realize, I'm disappearing in my loneliness.



Low-lah


Sent from my CrackBerry® device.
6/04/2012 | Category: | 6 Fabulalalas

Love You Deep
In response to When you see my shirt stained with blood.

Let me.
Love you deep,
the pain flowing in my veins.

Let me
love you deep.
The tears staining my cheeks.

Let me
love you deep.
it stains my breath from the inside.

Let me.
Cleave to you.
Love you deep.
You and your God.


xxx
Fabulo-la
3/21/2012 | Category: | 9 Fabulalalas

On Friendship
I see Him.
In your faces
In your smiles
In the way your hearts are open
To me.

In the depth
Of our love,
Of our friendship.

I see Him
When you look through
The windows [of my soul]
And are not phased
By the doors  (and barberd wires) [of my heart].

And yet,
Still you look at me
With love in your eyes,
In your words,
In your smiles.

I see Him
In you [C].
And you [O].

And finally
My heart begins to fathom
The depth of His love.

I see Him in you,
And I understand
That He is indeed Love.


I've always wondered who this Christ is, and what He wants with me.  Now I look at you, and I think I know the answer.


xxx
Fabulo-la

3/18/2012 | Category: , , | 3 Fabulalalas

Going Nowhere...
I'm going nowhere fast.
Emotions running on high speed,
crashing into dreams and
breaking down in reality.

My heart,
bleeding for things I cannot grasp.
Blood splatters on the things I cannot reach.
My mind is in turmoil.
My spirit is unsettled.
My body is weak.
My soul seeks rest.

I'm going nowhere. Fast.



xxx
Fabulo-la
Sent from my CrackBerry® device.
1/04/2012 | Category: | 2 Fabulalalas