Ha ha ha. Is this a joke?
"Im real sorry babe. It was never my intention to hurt you." -Excuse me? He doesn't want to hurt me? Yet here he is, telling he doesn't love me anymore? He loves her? HER?
Ha ha ha. This is a joke. Yea it is.
Click.
When he sleeps on it, his mind will clear and he'll call and apologise.
He has to.
Ha ha ha.
~Denial~
He cant mean it. He is really breaking up with me? Over her? For her?
No. No. No!
He cant. I wont let him.
"Oh please baby...after everything we've been through...its been 3 years...we can get through this..we've gotten through worse..."
I plead with him like a helpless child.
"Please..." I whisper. He gives me a stern look.
"Im sorry babe, but its over." With that he leaves my apartment. Not even good bye.
"Nooo! Babe please!" I wail after him.
"Dont leave me!"
I cant believe it. He is really leaving me. My mind cant wrap around it. My heart can't take it. Its not strong enough. I clutch my chest at the pain that i feel.
"Dont leave me!"
"...Some people want it all,
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby..."
~Depression~
Its been a week. I haven't moved from the mess that is my bed. My eyes are sore from weeping. My chest hurts from the pain in my heart. My nose is running and I haven't bothered to clean it. Let it run. Let it run. Let the mucus drip and soak my bed and clothes. What difference will it make?
My heart is broken. My world is crashing, and I have no way to stop it.
"...Baby I will wait for you
Cause I dont know what else I can do
Dont tell em I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life...
No matter what I have to do, i will wait for you."
Everything pisses me off. The heifer in the back of the class slapping the gum with her tongue. The foolish junior in the lab that can't crystallize the damn silicon to the right size. The incompetent teaching assistant that cant explain a simple absorption column. What the f**k is wrong in the world? is everyone trying to piss me off on purpose???
Oh I know what it is. It is all HIS f**king fault. Oh yea, it is. It certainly is.
If he thinks, he can just walk into my life, love me like a woman, and then just leave me?
Oh, he has GOT to be mistaken.
"Ring the Alarm!
Ive been through this too long
And I'll be DAMNED if I see another chick on your arm.."
~Rage~
Ha ha. Look at his pathetic self. Holding her like she is the most precious thing in the world.
Whore. Too engrossed in each other to even notice they are being followed.
Not like they'll know its even me anyways, disquised in the largest pants and the biggest hoodie I could find in the college bookstore. I look like a gangster from the south side of town. I would scare myself if I wasn't so distracted by my mission.
Yes my mission. I was going to attack the bitch and maybe re-arrange her face a little.
But that would mean assault and battery. Not sure how a criminal record would look on my PhD applications. But then again, it might add that little pazzaz I need to get in you know?
Well maybe to a psych program. Not sure the Chemical Engineering departments would find it amusing. I had thought of making a mixture and mailing it to her apartment, but then..they would trace it back to me. No. Then I would be put on the 'no fly' list and..No.
I'll just settle for destroying the most important thing to him.
His precious little sports car.
I walk to where he parked Elise. Yea.
His precious 2007 Nissan 350z, that he has been working on, and fixing up for the last 2 years. Oh yea..
"Poor Elise..." I whisper as I finger the length of her.
"Poor girl." I say as I put my cheek to the hood as if listening to her heartbeat. All 6 cylinders of her.
"Im real sorry babe. No hard feelings" I say. With that, I climb onto Elise and with one swift practiced motion, I swing.
And then I can't stop.
I had meant to just take out his windscreen, but why stop there? All the windows, the mirrors. And tires. The adrenalin rush is exhilarating. The seats.
Heaving, I stop. I think its enough.
He will NEVER forget.
"Im really sorry Elise." With that I drop the bat. And walk away. Smiling.
~Acceptance~
"I bust the windows out your car
You should feel lucky that was all I did
....I must admit it helped a little bit
to think of how you'd feel when you saw it"
But why am I still crying?
"Heaven has no rage, like love to Hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
True story. Well some of it.
xxx
-Fabulo-la
Comments (26)
i lovveeee this!lol!
lol... been there. was too far away to do that. Thanks for the ideas ;)
I NEVER want that level of hurt where i wouldn't want to go on.
I like the songs you used, especially the Jazmine Sullivan one, love how she admitted at the end that the tears didn't still go away though.
I've always thought busting windows is too cliche/generic. I mean if he has insurance the car might just be taken away for a week and be returned good as new.
I would think of something worse, trust me i come up with the best. This would have to be on a case by case basis though, but something with far reaching consequences, he'd be sure never to forget me.
I'm evil i know.
I HAVE MISSED YOU BABE!!!!
Oh. My. Goodness.
Hell hath no fury...
LOL@ "true story, well some of it"
Heyyy Fab! Nice to 'see' you around these parts.
lmao @ mizchif and "case-by-case basis"... hahaha... I hail o!
lol...sorry ooo. The Anger part last for long sha...so much so that you had to break it into two: Anger...Rage
Ring the alarm!!! I like that song.
how about busting his windows and cutting his brakes....that wud earn him at least a broken neck...hopefully she wont be in the car
experienced some of this..but the good news is...IT ALWAYS PASSES. bless God for that
It's been a while dear, how are you?
Hope the fury is gone now?
Its only a matter of time. Then the rage fades. Hopefully.
I like the part about Elise. a person has to let out some steam from time to time. If the guy's car happens to be in the way at that time, too bad.
I'll bust a damn window out your car....
Boy, haven't we all been down this road at one time or the other....
I love the way you wrote this.
Now I laugh at my self for feeling all those emotions then...it did hurt though...like mad.
well put together.
some ideas. mhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
my ex owned up to me that for months after we broke up, he always parked his car in his garage, he never left it outside the house by mistake. i guess smashing cars in fury is something i'm capable of...never tried it tho (serious regret!)
my friend is heartbroken now and all she has is a book owned by the guy that now serves as an ash tray...i can bet that it isn't very satisfying.
xoxo
ahhhh,i've missed you so much.
ahhh,, love oh.mscheww.
Yeah, the full range of emotions. Kpele!
Love the post...
Time heals everything....cliche but very true...x
totally crazy and unladylike...
hmm hope the anger has subsized sha. I missed you too dear. I don't see you anywhere again. Hope you are good sha : )
hmm hope the anger has subsized sha. I missed you too dear. I don't see you anywhere again. Hope you are good sha : )
Hell surely has no fury like a woman scorned.
Love this...not have and never want to feel this way about any guy.
I simply can't believe I didn't comment on this post sooner!
I thought I had.. Really .
I found it extremely interesting and illuminating..
how did you get over it all?
hahaha i didn't miss the "practiced motion" with which u climbed on to the car o
hilarious and quite scary. its amazing how another person can make us feel like this.
a friend of mine once poured banga soup all over the white living room walls of her ex-boyfriend when he broke up with her......it was quite scary to see her that deranged.
Hope ur over him now. you WILL find happiness again...trust me. you might not feel like that now but you will. maybe not in the form of another relationship (you dont even need to rush into another one) but you will find happiness in just being you, in ordinary things of life, in being a single girl free to make her own choices go where you wanna go, see who you wanna see, and when the right one comes you will have all his attention and from your past experience you now know more about men and how to be in a r/ship. Just think of that past r/ship as a learning curve and that way your next r/ship will be better. cheers babe
lol... im mad that you have False and True tagged onto this post.... SMH @ you.
this was a nice concept, the 5 stages of grief, well actually 4, because anger and rage are the same thing. i im certain you could have worked in Bargaining, because for the first few moments of a break up, we do tend to look for a way to bargain our way into our Exs heart. plus Bargaining is on the real list. but i must say, im still impressed by your blog.
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