I was in love once.
Honestly, violently, dangerously in love.
It was everything they say love is, and more.
I don't regret it. On the contrary I am happy for it.
It was an experience.
I can only pray to find love like that again.

But as the saying goes,
An old lover can never be a friend.
I have no interest in being 'friends' with him.
Acquaintances sef, that na loooong thing.
I dont know how all of you people do it,
But I am not one to be friends with old lovers.
What exactly is the point?
What is the essence of the friendship biko?
I am having a seizure at the mere thought of it.
Yah, its that serious.

So imagine my shock when a good friend told me to call up
'said' lover and let him know how I felt about our relationship.
That it would be good for him to hear.
Biko what am I supposed to say?
"Oh hey, yah err...just wanted to let you know that even though I dont talk to you anymore, what we had was great"?
Really?
I dont know about that one o.
But I thought it was interesting.
What do you think?

Does an old lover need to know what you think about your relationship?

xxx Fabulo-la

P.S. Thanks for checking on me guys, Niceanon and Repressed One. Been studying for thr GREs. That exam wan scatter my brain I tell u!
Im reading your blogs, not commenting as much, but I am there. Just in case you were wondering :)

Comments (37)

On January 31, 2010 at 4:09 PM , Mwajim Al said...

Hi, first commented (yay) I think it would take stages, u never know u may be talking to him as acquaintances soon maybe even friends... It will soon be likeca scar, only a reminder of a pain u no longer feel... Enjoyed this post! N gudluck with the GREs!

 
On January 31, 2010 at 6:29 PM , TayneMent said...

There's no need. He does not need to know. You can never be what you once were but be civil to each other and speak on need basis.

 
On January 31, 2010 at 6:49 PM , 24yearOldTeEnAgeR said...

If you parted amicably...then maybe. If you at one point thought he/she was the "One". Friends/acquaintances isn't necessary. Let them stay in the memories. Good luck with your exams n stuff.

 
On January 31, 2010 at 7:14 PM , Rene said...

I don't see the sense of giving an ex feedback after a relationship....thinking of it just reminds me of the questionnaires we fill in my school after each course....ogini

 
On January 31, 2010 at 7:14 PM , Rene said...

Good luck with your exam

 
On January 31, 2010 at 8:19 PM , leggy said...

i dont think he needs to know anything abeg.lol.

 
On January 31, 2010 at 8:30 PM , Jaycee said...

Old lover blues...

Don't do it. :)

 
On January 31, 2010 at 9:18 PM , Repressed One said...

No need jare. It serves no purpose!

"On the contrary I am happy for it." So do you agree with "it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all"?? Just asking :) lol.

Eh ya pele...good to know you're well otherwise. Good luck with the exam.

 
On January 31, 2010 at 11:57 PM , neefemi said...

it serves no purpose o...not necessary...he should come tell you gan, mschewww - goodluck on your exams dear

 
On February 1, 2010 at 2:15 AM , SHE said...

Wetin? So the guy will start to feel extra special after the fact?
Its better to leave him where he belongs - your past.

 
On February 1, 2010 at 4:50 AM , ~Sirius~ said...

Biko, What's that?

Abeg.

I don't practice friend"s after being Lover either.
It doesn't make sense to me.
Everybody find your square roots. No beef. If I see you, Hi......Bye....

Why should I tell you what I think?
What purpose will that serve?

 
On February 1, 2010 at 5:32 AM , rethots said...

A beautiful question (and or situation) once discoursed at length. http://rethots.wordpress.com/2007/11/26/26/

 
On February 1, 2010 at 6:04 AM , ifeoma odogwu said...

nope! no need 4 dat. it'll just b awkward.

 
On February 1, 2010 at 6:28 AM , Harry-Rami Itie said...

I don't think so

 
On February 1, 2010 at 8:17 AM , The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Why bother, He does not need to know, but old flames sure make good friends.

 
On February 1, 2010 at 11:39 AM , shorty said...

Its makes no sense telling him. Wish you all the best dear.

 
On February 1, 2010 at 2:17 PM , akabagucci said...

err.. after the end of being lovers.. all man need to answer im papa name o... staying friends is a loooooooong thing...

 
On February 1, 2010 at 8:15 PM , 48 said...

Goodluck with the GRE!

 
On February 1, 2010 at 8:24 PM , Bubbles said...

hmmm
i don't think it's a bad idea
i think i might try that tho

 
On February 2, 2010 at 9:36 AM , Omotee! said...

there's a reason someone is an ex jo, friendship with an ex is usually a long tin.
its not all bad sha, guess it depends on how and why u broke up. i have an ex who still refers me to people for business - we are friends that way, no funny emotions attached.

all the best with GRE, you'll fly

 
On February 2, 2010 at 12:05 PM , Miss FlyHigh said...

I was here ...dnt make any phone calls o

 
On February 2, 2010 at 12:18 PM , Fragilelooks said...

i don't fink it's a bad idea for him to know esp if wot u guys had was something u still wish u had even if with someone else.
GOOD LUCK WIT THE EXAMS

 
On February 2, 2010 at 12:19 PM , Ebony~!* said...

hmmm, on love and such! it would really be random though to bring up such if you do not want to go back to the person. well i would definately no sa a word about it. lol goodluck on your GRE's~

 
On February 2, 2010 at 1:18 PM , Favoured Girl said...

Excellent piece. Let's talk...

 
On February 2, 2010 at 8:53 PM , Kabi-Osi Edumare said...

It depends on reason for the breakup.
I once broke up with my boyfriend ...Now fiance....We didnt fight or nothing.....I just wanted to see what was out there..lol..and....the distance was a strain on the relationship.

Good luck with ur exams.

 
On February 3, 2010 at 12:08 PM , Rita said...

No need...
All the best in ur GRE preps...

 
On February 4, 2010 at 5:20 AM , kay9 said...

Bone d guy; if u somehow run into him in the future n u guys get to talking, that's different. But to go outta yo way to call him (a HIM at that!), well, like other's've said na serious long ting. I know, i've experienced it.

Giv those examiners hell!

 
On February 4, 2010 at 11:50 PM , bob-ij said...

Hmm... I am friends with my ex. I think it IS important for pple to know you valued a relationship bt if it was ages ago and hommie has moved on, then it will be too random!

~x~

 
On February 5, 2010 at 7:30 PM , Miss Natural said...

thats my style, as per friends with exes or romantic interests. but i also applaud your style. both work out as well,except when the two of you could make 'good friends' only. then id say keeping as a friend is beneficial than cutting all ties. Ehhh goodluck in GREs!!!

 
On February 10, 2010 at 1:49 AM , Suru said...

Love is a complicated thing. Good luck on your GREs!

 
On February 10, 2010 at 9:07 PM , Vera Ezimora said...

*HISS* Wetin consign aeroplane with side mirror???

 
On February 12, 2010 at 10:59 PM , Enoch said...

Don't you just love Love?

 
On February 13, 2010 at 1:16 PM , Miz Arkitect said...

Nope! I wouldnt go out of my way. If we meet "and" our convo gets to that, fine. If not? NOPe!!! good luck with ur exams

 
On February 19, 2010 at 1:34 PM , Anonymous said...

Most of the comments i've read seem to come from immature minds....and what you express in your blog seems to stem from hurt...Having an ex as a friend is a plus provided you've gotten over what you guys had and are mature enough to handle the friendship.....where did you come up with the saying - "an old love can never be a friend" - come-on.....are you serious!!!.....Whats the essence of such a friendship?? FRIENDSHIP.

Good luck in your exams....and take life easy, it aint that hard.........

 
On February 22, 2010 at 5:47 PM , The Life of a Stranger called me said...

This post is so interesting, so also are the comments. Thanks for making my evening.. I have laughed so hard..

Vera too.. lol..

 
On February 24, 2010 at 7:58 AM , Jinta said...

no, no need, because for the man, me at least, i will retain some physical itch to satisfy if she were still lolling around. who needs the drama?

 
On March 1, 2010 at 1:45 AM , Kola Tubosun said...

Now is the time for a well deserved update on this blog, babe! :)

Receive inspiration in Jesus' holy name. Amen.