Im afraid.
Im afraid of having children.
Every time I imagine my husband and kids
The kids, boys usually, always either have autism
or cerebral palsy. I dont know why.
But this happens every time.
So, I don't think about having children.
I dont even entertain conversations about them.
Im all for surrogacy.
I wish I had done a double major in school.
English or Classical languages or something.
Engineers are some of the most...boring people ever.
Sucks to think I'm one of them.
I'm afraid of what my constant migraines could possibly mean.
My doctors keep dropping words like MRI
and CAT Scan.
Why do they do that?
I have classes and design projects to focus on
I cannot be worrying about MRIs and what nots.
Are the painkillers not sufficient?
I still want to be a model.
Before I moved to this here forsaken town,
I actively pursued being a model.
Needless to say..engineering seemed more promising.
(if you google my name, my model profile comes up.)
But I still want to be a model.
In my mind, I am the editor of Vogue Nigeria.
I said In my mind.
I can dream can't I?
Like I said, IN MY MIND jo.
I'm afraid I might not love my boyfriend enough.
On paper, we are perfect.
I can totally see us in the long run and all.
You know, he is the kind of person I know I need.
But....I dont know.
Well maybe its just the distance.
Oh well...
Fabulo-la has missed you all.
Did you miss me?
xxx
Im afraid of having children.
Every time I imagine my husband and kids
The kids, boys usually, always either have autism
or cerebral palsy. I dont know why.
But this happens every time.
So, I don't think about having children.
I dont even entertain conversations about them.
Im all for surrogacy.
I wish I had done a double major in school.
English or Classical languages or something.
Engineers are some of the most...boring people ever.
Sucks to think I'm one of them.
I'm afraid of what my constant migraines could possibly mean.
My doctors keep dropping words like MRI
and CAT Scan.
Why do they do that?
I have classes and design projects to focus on
I cannot be worrying about MRIs and what nots.
Are the painkillers not sufficient?
I still want to be a model.
Before I moved to this here forsaken town,
I actively pursued being a model.
Needless to say..engineering seemed more promising.
(if you google my name, my model profile comes up.)
But I still want to be a model.
In my mind, I am the editor of Vogue Nigeria.
I said In my mind.
I can dream can't I?
Like I said, IN MY MIND jo.
I'm afraid I might not love my boyfriend enough.
On paper, we are perfect.
I can totally see us in the long run and all.
You know, he is the kind of person I know I need.
But....I dont know.
Well maybe its just the distance.
Oh well...
Fabulo-la has missed you all.
Did you miss me?
xxx
Comments (36)
FIRST
we missed you small
I totally understand your fear
with the whole children thing
that's some scary shit right thurr
what's your name lemme google you
lol
I miss u gan!!!! Nah babes u shouldn't be scared of kids now! U could be d exception here u know!!!
I feel you on this issue right now especially on the boyfriend part. I feel the love esp on my part is fading but my boobookins is still crazy about me, notwithstanding the distance.
I believe that this is a phase and in time, this too shall pass, a thought worth holding on to especially when you know you've got a good man.
Get a CT scan soon. The radiation isn't much compared to MRI. Really please go and get it done.
Nice anon by the way. Too lazy sign in.
yes we did! :)
omG I thot i was d only one dt got freakd out bout havin kids! In my case its either autism or cancer. Blame BBC for thier documentaries...either ways hun, God dey, I rebuke it 4 us! amen!
I get migraines too for very silly reasons like being hungry, listening to music4too long, sleeping too much...etc...I'm sure its just one of those things and it shouldn't bother you.
About children, I feel like that too sometimes...but it's just a feeling, you don't know for sure. Don't beat yourself over nothing.
Missed u babe, whr u been?
@Nice: Ngana kpuchie ute...
lol...i sometimes think about being a model too.the only thing good about marriage is the kids.
I think every woman has that fear, even though they might not admit it. PLEASE GET THE SCAN DONE ONCE AND FOR ALL! Ah, distance has a way of playing tricks on us..sigh. Missed ya!
i missed you oh. i missed you telling me bsnc i am lost or i didn't get that..lol
abeg get you scan done o and get it out of the way..
hope you are good
Don't be scared of kids oh! Multiply the earth jare. lol BTW i am with you on the modelling, do it jooo! nothing do you. If you can see it, you can have it!
I missed you oh...where have you been?
I'm with you on the children bit...God help us all.
Nne, biko go get it checked out.
ohhh, i wanna see model pictures :)
I hope it's just the distance since you actually do see uall in the long run...
Everyone has their fear, don't sweat it. I don't think engineering is boring.
I missed you gan!
I missed u
i feel the same way tooo!!children gosh it scares me!!!
please just go for the scan!!
I missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All legitimate fears, my dear. And oh my days, you are so right. Engineers are beyond boring. The things that amuse them... smh (I'm one of "them" o, lol)
@Bubbles..dodo babe..Only small?..lol I know I am scared...ha ha wouldnt u like to know?
lol
@Sugarking..That is my prayer o..otherwise its no kids at all..:(
@InUrChoos: I hope its a phase o! I rlly do..
@Nice: Im thinkin abt it..but insurance has to cover it abeg...
@~Butterfly~: I know right? Discovery Health has forever made me paranoid...
@MissDufa..mehn..I wish it was just hunger giving me migraines....unfortunately its not..:(
@kay9...*sigh* I couldnt escape my reality...Oh and speak ENGLISH biko! Ahn ahn!
lol
@leggy: Only sometimes?..and r u sure abt that???
@Buttercup: Ok O I will get it.......soon
@BSNC: I am getting better shey?
lol
Im ok o..at least i think so...xxx
@Ebony~*: Err..unfortunately I am a lil too old to be pursuing any modelling degree at this point..lol
I can stil dream it sha...
@ReoressedOne: I am ok o..just been...reflecting kinda.
@Renesugarplumsweetness: err which engineers are u hanging around biko? lol
@Tinu: I mised u too jo! I know abt having children right? *shudders at the thought* I will go. Pwomise..xxx
@miss.fab: I missed u toooooooooooooooooooo!
lol. U r soo right. I despise their silly jokes, but u should see me when I start giggling to myself!...LOOL Silly things I tell u
AWWW I issed u guys too jo!
xxx
I think you should get the scan done.... and that you are unnecessarily scared of the whole childbirth thing.. You could opt for a voluntary C-section if push came to shove.... Or just adopt kids... Reduce the net gain of orphans in the world.....
only you, all this thinking? take it easy o!
didn't know a lot of people had fears concerning kids.
abi @ akaBagucci "or just adopt kids...reduce the net gain of orphans in the world...
do scan. engineers are boring usually, but the cool ones, are uber-cool. re kids... you coould also be hit by bus tomorrow, but you are not afraid of buses. what ifs are not worth the fear!
awww please get your scan done. i know you're good though.
i think engineers are v.smart and innovative though.
p.s. i'd like to see your portfolio :)
lol..we missed you....
a little
lol..
Engineers are brains..so be proud lol...and err
about the double major, I need details cos err..I really cannot imagine myself doing only medicine..when the time comes..or I shall go mad!
Me. I missed you....how are you doin?
Hey dun feel so bad about doing engineering...not all engineers are boring!
what kinda man do you need babe?
Missed u much!
Pls go and get the scan so that u dnt have to worry.
I hate distance...but I dnt like the thought of not being able to love him. *sigh* so I stick it out.
I fear childbirth...but I try not to think about it.
Lol...my boyfie is an Engr,but he knws better than to bore me wiv engineering jargon. U dnt sound lyk a boring person o!
You think your fear is bad- I was thinking strictly adoption mhen!
I can't imagine the bulge and the pain!
my only comfort is that so many other people have done it and survived, why should my case be different.
I feel you on this one! Watched this video once of a woman giving birth. Did you know sometimes they have to tear the place where the baby is gonna come out when its too small and then stitch it later?
Just found you and love you already. Wonder about childbearing too, not scared though
Wo! me I've been on google since oh..
Wey dem???? Lol..
i think ive blogged about being scared of childbirth -i blame my cousin!
bt i think of teenagers that get pregnant and born their pikins, and i think if they can do it, i should ba?
sistER, as per the Autism and cerebral palsy thingy, i reject it for u! abeg!!
think of ur children and think little obamas, and dont claim something thats not ur portion!
PS: if it helps, i know some sexy engineers!
@Roc: U don google taya???
loool
@Myne: U r not scared????? Av u seen videos????
*shudders*
@LAdyX: WHY DID U HAVE TO DO THAT???? I was doing well pretending I ddnt know soo much!!
@~Sirius~: Just like that??? WHat about the other pple whose case is not different??
@Undercover: Well Im glad I dont sound boring..lol
@Chari: WHat kind of man do I need???
Uhhhhh...can i get back to you on that??
lol
@Nwanyi: U know u missed me jo...Well where r u going to school? U can pretty much double in anything u want...provided u can handle it ofcourse..
@Bonnie..smart and innovative? LOL some of them are really stupid. I kid you not.
@Kmplx: i guess if you put it that way...
@Splash..yes only me o!
@DannyB: trust me it is def n option I am seriously considering...
xxx
Oh just saw the MRI thing. Um, I'm beginning to get scared for people who complain of headaches o. Two of my close friends constantly have headaches. And I'm talking virtually every day I talk to them, one of them has a headache. It's not a joke abeg o. Please do the scan thing or whatever your doctors are saying ehn thanks very much
LOl....Well maybe you should read on the subjects....some "special" chilrend are born to teach us a beautiful lesson. The only way to subside your fear is to face it.
For example I was always scared that I will kill myself at the end. I was sooo afraid, until I actually imagined myself doing it, and planning it, did I lose the fear. (I am super weird). lol. Oh, I didnt get the email....would you re-send. its naijadivablog@gmail.com.
Cerebral palsy and autism, scary stuff. The trick to suppressing bad thoughts is to accept it in a positive light. As long as you know you'll have unconditional affection for your kids regardless of their state, the haunting stops. If you keep fighting it, you carry it around like luggage.
Some of the most stimulating people I know are engineers. Its all about having a compelling will in everything you do. History is replete with such men. The common thread is passion, not a flair for classical languages.
Research suggests that migraines are the cost of a well formed turbocharged intellect. If true, Its the payment for an envious command of the mind. The question is, are you making it count? Are u getting your payments worth?
Need is an important component of a relationship. Love is overrated and often exploited.
ibgo hmuan
I did miss you! How did you sneak and update without my knowledge?
No cat cans or MRI's for you ooo...Amin! Errrm are we supposed to google 'Fabulo-la'? LOL. I say why not? Get the degree and pursue the modelling...ya never know. ;-)
I've missed you fabu :*
Miss Lowlah! Where have you been???
@OM: Unfortunately Im a lil too old now..so engineering it is. :(
@AIH: So love is unnecessary? And I never heard abt the headaches thng..wow...
@Temite: hmmm I will try it..lol
@Miss.fab: I wiil I will...:(