This week has been a .... weird one to say the least.
I didn't run away, I swear.
I was just ... thinking?
Well remember I had an epiphany a while ago?
I kinda forgot about it for a while after that.
And then, I read 'Half a Yellow Sun'.
Apart from realizing how ignorant I am about many of the affairs of my own country,
(I have resolved to change that by all means)
I found myself wondering, 'would I give my life for my country?'
I do not mean dying.
Well not in the physical sense anyways
More like, would I give it all to fight to make a difference for the sake of my country?
All of a sudden I remembered the epiphany.
This time it came back to me
The image was so vivid and haunting
I could feel my ribcage constrict as my throat threatened to cut of my air supply.
The passion came back so strong,
It gave me goosebumps, but I could clearly feel the fire inside me.
It still does. I still can.
Its intimidating.
I cried.
My 10-year-plan just did a U-turn.
I want to do this. To make a difference.
Are you kidding me?
I have to.
I. Just. Have. To.
Even if I die trying.
That is how strongly I feel right now.
But how? I don't know how to do this
I was NOT trained to do this.
I am afraid to talk about this
They say there are dream killers everywhere
But I HAVE to do this
And I don't know how
My heart is bleeding at the thought of what lays ahead of me
I am scared shitless.
But I know one thing for a fact
I love my country
And I'll be damned if i don't spend my life trying to make it better.
I wrote this while I was reading 'Half Yellow Sun'
I think I was still in the romantic mood
which kinda explains the way it is written
"Ask not what your country can do for you, rather what you can do for your country." - JFK
I didn't run away, I swear.
I was just ... thinking?
Well remember I had an epiphany a while ago?
I kinda forgot about it for a while after that.
And then, I read 'Half a Yellow Sun'.
Apart from realizing how ignorant I am about many of the affairs of my own country,
(I have resolved to change that by all means)
I found myself wondering, 'would I give my life for my country?'
I do not mean dying.
Well not in the physical sense anyways
More like, would I give it all to fight to make a difference for the sake of my country?
All of a sudden I remembered the epiphany.
This time it came back to me
The image was so vivid and haunting
I could feel my ribcage constrict as my throat threatened to cut of my air supply.
The passion came back so strong,
It gave me goosebumps, but I could clearly feel the fire inside me.
It still does. I still can.
Its intimidating.
I cried.
My 10-year-plan just did a U-turn.
I want to do this. To make a difference.
Are you kidding me?
I have to.
I. Just. Have. To.
Even if I die trying.
That is how strongly I feel right now.
I was NOT trained to do this.
I am afraid to talk about this
They say there are dream killers everywhere
But I HAVE to do this
And I don't know how
My heart is bleeding at the thought of what lays ahead of me
I am scared shitless.
But I know one thing for a fact
I love my country
And I'll be damned if i don't spend my life trying to make it better.
I wrote this while I was reading 'Half Yellow Sun'
I think I was still in the romantic mood
which kinda explains the way it is written
I have a love.
A consecrated lover.
I do not know if she still loves me.
Years ago I ran away
I abandoned my lover
I wanted a more experienced lover
That would caress my mind
And stimulate my passion
And now, now
I want my lover back
I have missed her
I have seen that no love is as strong as
The love my lover gave me, those years when I rejected her
When she called out to me
But I turned my heart away
Because I thought she could not give me what I needed.
Someone please tell my love
That I am sorry
That I have been made wiser by our time away
Tell my lover
That I will nurse her wounds
And use my sweat and blood
To nurture her to health
Tell her that I will give her my right hand if hers fails her
Tell her that I am ready to give my life to her
Tell her that I will give my life
For our children, so that there will be children
She has suffered enough.
Tell her, that I am coming back
And that I still love her
Tell her
I love her even more.
Somebody tell Nigeria that I love her
A consecrated lover.
I do not know if she still loves me.
Years ago I ran away
I abandoned my lover
I wanted a more experienced lover
That would caress my mind
And stimulate my passion
And now, now
I want my lover back
I have missed her
I have seen that no love is as strong as
The love my lover gave me, those years when I rejected her
When she called out to me
But I turned my heart away
Because I thought she could not give me what I needed.
Someone please tell my love
That I am sorry
That I have been made wiser by our time away
Tell my lover
That I will nurse her wounds
And use my sweat and blood
To nurture her to health
Tell her that I will give her my right hand if hers fails her
Tell her that I am ready to give my life to her
Tell her that I will give my life
For our children, so that there will be children
She has suffered enough.
Tell her, that I am coming back
And that I still love her
Tell her
I love her even more.
Somebody tell Nigeria that I love her
"Ask not what your country can do for you, rather what you can do for your country." - JFK
