tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76702711329403200602024-03-05T13:09:09.817-05:00Me. And then Some.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-60626123916251210072013-12-03T12:14:00.001-05:002013-12-03T12:14:20.553-05:00Through the ShadowsYea, though I walk through <div>the valleys</div><div>Of the shadows...<div>I will fear nothing. </div><div><br></div><div>I will look to the heavens instead</div><div>And praise your name </div><div>Higher and higher.</div><div><br></div><div>Because even right<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> here in the dumps</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>You are still King.</div><div>You are still faithful.</div><div>You are still God.</div><div>You will still reign</div><div>Forever and ever. </div></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Or so I will remind myself. </div><div>When I walk through the shadows...</div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-58092991493073448492013-07-25T23:04:00.001-04:002013-07-25T23:04:34.218-04:00Getting Naked with You<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">With you my hair comes down</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My laugh <i>seems</i> exaggerated</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">And my body is relaxed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The world is funny again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Every time I see you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My clothes seem to just..<i>want</i> to come off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Why would I stop them?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You have me speaking in tongues </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and seeing visions of another world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But thats just it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">As we lay here making the beasts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">with two backs </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Every imperfection laid out bare</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Your gray hairs in weird places</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The tattoo that I think is missing a word</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My little breasts that appear not so little...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But even as we lay here</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">with sweaty ,mingling bodies</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The walls to my fears</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">hopes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My soul.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Are still high up, unbroken, unbridled</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Not climbed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">And I keep wondering...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Will I ever be able to <i>be</i> naked with you?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Do <i>you</i> want to be naked with me?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">xxx</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Fabulo-la</span><br />
<br />Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-37054510845325168182013-04-20T21:22:00.002-04:002013-04-20T21:22:18.407-04:00No title.It has been a long 12 hours, and you are looking forward to relaxing in the silence and solitude of your apartment. There is something grossly understated about one's space after a long day dealing with other human beings, yet still putting up your best smile when really all you want to do is rip them a new one.<br />
*twinkling smile*<br />
So that moment when you unlock your door, and out of sheer exhaustion, you sit on the floor at the hallway entrance and just take in the silence.<br />
Allowing it to wash over you and soak into your very core.<br />
Silence.<br />
Solitude.<br />
<br />
What some of us thrive on.<br />
Living alone is highly underrated.<br />
Why would anyone want to give it up?<br />
<br />
As you make your way through your space,<br />
turning off your phone for the rest of the night,<br />
you anticipate snuggling into your bed.<br />
Nothing like a quiet apartment with a warm bed and tons of pillows.<br />
<br />
Hot shower, check.<br />
Lights off, phone off.<br />
It is time to call it a night.<br />
Albeit early, but your body needs it.<br />
<br />
Just as you begin to drift off you say a prayer..and then you are off.<br />
Trailblazing the way to dreamland.<br />
<br />
<br />
But then...4 hours later you wake up with a scream.<br />
No it wasn't a dream.<br />
You cant move your legs.<br />
Your toes appear to be cramped, and the pain is shooting up all the way into your thighs.<br />
Thrashing around in pain, what are you going to do?<br />
Your left leg hurts like it is about to fall off.<br />
You try massaging it maybe the cramping will stop,<br />
but every time you touch it, the pain worsens.<br />
Your phone is off in the other room.<br />
But who would you call at 3am?<br />
What would they do?<br />
Your life just flashed right before your eyes.<br />
Is this it?<br />
<br />
<br />
And that is when you start to cry...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-67935500699773124862013-03-26T01:28:00.002-04:002013-03-26T01:28:36.828-04:00Why?<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Captured by your fears,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and [tortured] by your insecurities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Constant <i>wants</i> and <i>wishes</i> and <i>if onlys</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">threatening to <u>un-validate</u> your current reality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But the truth is, these <i>wishes</i> and <i>wants</i> and <i>if onlys</i> are not horses, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and beggars and not riding. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But still.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Amidst your apparent lack, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and doubts and drowning disappointments, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">you <i><b>are</b></i> okay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Because even when nothing is going okay, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">everything is still...<i>okay</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Food shelter and internet, you do not lack.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Love, mercy and grace are... new every morning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He is unfailingly faithful in giving you your daily bread.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So why then...is your heart heavy?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Fabulo-la</span>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-39599866340731881552013-03-03T06:38:00.000-05:002013-03-03T06:38:53.882-05:00Proudly Nigerian...<span style="font-size: x-small;">Or <i>unproudly</i> Nigerian.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Really who cares?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Can I just get through my day?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Without being dogged by the mob</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">for not being "Nigerian" enough?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Proudly Nigerian, or <i>unproudly</i> Nigerian?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Again, what is your point here?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I don't see you </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">taking a page out of your book</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">to selflessly serve your country.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Oh? No?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Discussing the country's problems, over</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>trendy</i> over-priced drinks in the most recent over-hyped bar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">that claims 'exclusivity' </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">with zero to nil parking, suits you better </span><i style="font-size: small;">eh</i><span style="font-size: x-small;">?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm getting you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Or wait let me guess,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> as long as you can fly out</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><u>every</u> three weeks to your </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>other</i> home, flashing your </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>other</i> colored passport</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">just to 'get away' from it all,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>*flicks hair*</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">you are living the Nigerian dream eh?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Indeed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Or would it be the occasional 'charity' event</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">to convince us all, of the desperate love</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">that your heart bleeds for the country?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Right.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Proudly Nigerian</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">or <i>unproudly</i> Nigerian.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I came, I saw, I didn't conquer.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Now can I just get through </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">my <i>already-hard-to-navigate-life</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">filled with the persistent frustrations of surviving in this area code,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">without your hypocritical ass</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">getting in my way?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Thanks.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Have a nice life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Proudly Nigerian. Still.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">xxx</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Fabulo-la</span>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-67281229087774019242013-02-23T08:43:00.001-05:002013-02-24T12:43:18.537-05:00'Let not your longing...'The heart wants what the heart wants. <br />
But the heart, desperately wicked, seeks its own will. <br />
Its own will to love and be loved.<br />
Longing for a moment, a touch, a forever. <br />
<br />
Let not your longing slay your appetite for living.<br />
<br />
For in living is to love, to give of yourself wholly, and completely. <br />
<br />
And in the living find love. <br />
Not as the heart seeks, but as He wills it. <br />
<br />
Let not your longing slay your appetite for living. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
Fabulo-laFabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-83555355498280561982012-09-25T06:59:00.001-04:002012-09-25T06:59:13.456-04:00Born To DieI tried to kill the pain
<br>But it only brought more.
<br>In the end, does it even matter?
<br>
<br>My wounds cry for the grave
<br>My soul cries for deliverance
<br>But I only feel cold steel.
<br>We were born to die, weren't we?
<br>
<br>I spin the cylinder and wonder,
<br>Will you be on the other side?
<br>Or will you forget me?
<br>
<br>Either way its time to bleed it out
<br>And cross this divide.
<br>I place the barrel against my temple
<br>And take my last breath.
<br>
<br>I feel a cold rush of blood to my head
<br>As I pull the .....
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-22457492001023563862012-09-05T05:56:00.000-04:002012-09-05T05:56:09.833-04:00This Is Not A Love Song<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Lets get one thing clear.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">This is neither a love note,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Nor is it a <em>defiant</em> declaration of my love.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">For you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Love? Love you?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">No way. How could I?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not at all.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">My emotions are not all tangled</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">And my heart is not torn with the stab of your rejection.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">My eyes do not bear the weight of the sadness I feel.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">I have not cried night after night wondering what </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">is so inadequate about me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Wondering why you just could not love me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">How could I?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times;">When the love that I've had for you is long gone</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times;">And the pain I feel so strong is not the reason I'm holding on.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">You see if I did, <em>hold on that is</em>,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">It would mean that the love I have for you</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">is deeper than the pain I feel.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">But we all know it is not ,right?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Good.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Glad we could be on the same page.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div>
<div align="center">
</div>
<div align="center">
</div>
<div align="center">
xxx</div>
<div align="center">
Fabulo-la</div>
Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-88853582917740164242012-08-03T05:31:00.000-04:002012-08-03T05:31:31.413-04:00If This Isn't Love, Then Tell Me What Is.<br />
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It is not his looks that made me fall in love with the boy.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Neither is it the way he walks.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Or talks.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Nor that he can command a room and how.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I didn't fall in love with the boy because he is tall, dark and handsome.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The first time I heard him speak, I was intrigued and HAD to listen. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The depth of his words drew me in and forced me to look beyond him,<i> into</i> him.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Then I decided I <span class="s1">had</span> to hear more.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The more I heard, I knew I could listen forever.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I <i>want</i> to listen forever.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I want to take his ideas and give birth to the realities of his vison.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I want to be the one he looks at, and says to everyone: <i><b>She</b> helped me</i>.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I want to be his personal cheerleader.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I <span class="s1">have</span> to be there when the valleys show up, to hold his hand and urge him on.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I have to be his rock when the ground gets muddy.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I <b><i>need</i></b> to be there to see him fulfil his purpose.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I want to be the woman he needs.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But whats more, I need <i>him</i> to complete my photosynthesis and become the woman I am going to be.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I know.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">He has annoying habits.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">He snores like a chimney, and sometimes slobbers when he eats.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sometimes he forgets to say '<i>Thank you'</i>. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sometimes he refuses to clean up after himself.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">He doesnt always say how he is feeling, and sometimes treats me like a child.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But what does all that matter, when I can clearly see the man he is meant to be?</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The man he is <b>going</b> to be?</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">If this isn't love then tell me, what is?</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">xxx</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Fabulo-la</span></div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-15660718755174079762012-07-24T07:52:00.000-04:002012-07-24T07:52:17.780-04:00Yesterday<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Yesterday I fell in love with a boy.<br />When he looked at me, my heart did cartwheels hoping it would fall and <em>he</em> would catch it.<br />When he touched me, my knees gave way hoping <em>he</em> would hold me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When he spoke he reminded me of Solomon with the integrity of Joseph.<br />His heart for God reminded me of David, his courage reminded me of Joshua.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When I looked at him, I saw him drenched in 1Corin15:58.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I wonder if he saw me?<br />Or perhaps, ... fell in love with me too?<br />Did his heart skip a beat when I smiled at him?<br />Did he long to hold me too, as I brushed past him?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When he looks at me, does he see the boldness of Esther, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">aligned with the submission of Mary, engulfed by the tears of a praying Hannah?<br />Do I remind him of P31?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Yesterday, I fell in love with a boy.<br />But I wonder, will he fall in love with me too?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-73467700158374987012012-06-04T08:33:00.001-04:002012-06-04T12:28:45.008-04:00SometimesSometimes surrounded by the people I love most,
<br />
<br />
Sometimes deep in conversation with my very best friends,
<br />
<br />
Sometimes in the middle of a belly laugh,
<br />
<br />
Sometimes in the comfort of a hug,
<br />
<br />
Sometimes,
<br />
<br />
.
<br />
<br />
I realize, I'm disappearing in my loneliness.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Low-lah
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-1842369885963619212012-03-21T06:34:00.000-04:002012-03-21T06:34:08.455-04:00Love You Deep<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">In response to <a href="http://seye.blogspot.com/?view=classic#!/2012/03/when-you-see-my-shirt-stained-with.html">When you see my shirt stained with blood</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Let me.<br />
Love you deep,<br />
the pain flowing in my veins.<br />
<br />
Let me<br />
love you deep.<br />
The tears staining my cheeks.<br />
<br />
Let me<br />
love you deep.<br />
it stains my breath from the inside.<br />
<br />
Let me.<br />
Cleave to you.<br />
Love you deep.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You and your God.<br />
<br />
<br />
xxx</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Fabulo-la</span>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-79099959135413405692012-03-18T16:51:00.000-04:002012-03-18T16:51:08.712-04:00On Friendship<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I see Him.</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your faces</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your smiles</div><div style="text-align: center;">In the way your hearts are open</div><div style="text-align: center;">To me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">In the depth </div><div style="text-align: center;">Of our love,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Of our friendship.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I see Him</div><div style="text-align: center;">When you look through</div><div style="text-align: center;">The windows [of my soul]</div><div style="text-align: center;">And are not phased</div><div style="text-align: center;">By the doors <span style="font-size: xx-small;"> (and barberd wires)</span> [of my heart].</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And yet,</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>Still</em> you look at me</div><div style="text-align: center;">With love in your eyes,</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your words,</div><div style="text-align: center;">In your smiles.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I see Him </div><div style="text-align: center;">In you [C].</div><div style="text-align: center;">And you [O].</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And finally</div><div style="text-align: center;">My heart begins to fathom</div><div style="text-align: center;">The <strong><u>depth</u></strong> of His love.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I see Him in you,</div><div style="text-align: center;">And I understand</div><div style="text-align: center;">That He is<em><strong><u> indeed</u></strong></em> Love.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I've always wondered who this Christ is, and what He wants with me. Now I look at you, and I think I know the answer</span>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">xxx</div><div style="text-align: left;">Fabulo-la</div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-48654644103960326882012-01-04T05:11:00.001-05:002012-01-04T05:11:11.894-05:00Going Nowhere...I'm going nowhere fast.
<br>Emotions running on high speed,
<br>crashing into dreams and
<br>breaking down in reality.
<br>
<br>My heart,
<br>bleeding for things I cannot grasp.
<br>Blood splatters on the things I cannot reach.
<br>My mind is in turmoil.
<br>My spirit is unsettled.
<br>My body is weak.
<br>My soul seeks rest.
<br>
<br>I'm going nowhere. Fast.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>xxx
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-14621702308074012962011-11-30T06:45:00.000-05:002011-11-30T06:45:36.313-05:00Imperfectly Perfect<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">In His perfection,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our imperfections are made whole.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Like a broken pot</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">with cracks running down all sides</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">chips along all the edges</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">barely able to hold any worth in.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our value [seemingly] depreciating with every drop.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our delicate structure worn off,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">from'misguided' use.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mishandled and manhandled,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">with the holes to show for it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times;">If I had a pot like that,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times;">I'd throw it away.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Yet, with everything,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">despite everything,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">He willingly replaces our ashes</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">For his beauty.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our imperfections made whole</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">in his perfections</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Molding and building us back up</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">To be how we were made to be.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Who we were created to be.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times;">xxx</span></div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times;">Fabulo-la</span></div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"></div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-48587602191022840142011-09-18T04:29:00.001-04:002011-09-18T04:29:42.647-04:00Is There More?There has to be more.
<br>I hope there is more.
<br>When I wake up to the ordinariness of life and trudge through the 'habitualness' in front of me, I cannot but long for that moment.
<br>That rush, that feeling.
<br>That feeling of transcendence, that moment of clarity. That instance when simplicity takes over. The moment it will all come together like the final clash of the cymbals.
<br>That instance when your heart, overflowing calls out to your mind and you KNOW that THIS moment is what life is all about.
<br>
<br>I hope there is more to this.
<br>
<br>xxx
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-38419886017428675962011-09-07T07:29:00.000-04:002011-09-07T07:31:38.615-04:00I want it allThey tell me my head is too far up the clouds.
<br>That my emotions have been tainted with the sweet cherries of Heaven.
<br>And my heart is deceived by the thought of angels walking amongst us.
<br>But I tell you this;
<br>My mind longs for the moment we will transcend beyond the heavens.
<br>For the time when our minds will explode with a passion so intense, so raw...
<br>
<br>I don't know about you,
<br>But I don't want no ordinary, 'I should, I could, I did' kinda love.
<br>I don't want no 'just because' love.
<br>
<br>I want the kind that grips me when you walk into a room.
<br>The kind that makes my heart stop at the thought of not having you.
<br>The kind that sends me to ecstasy at the touch of you.
<br>
<br>The kind of love that hurts from loving you because I don't have enough love to give you.
<br>The kind of love that my wrists would bleed for to keep you with me.
<br>The kind of love so crazy I could kill you, but then I'd have to kill myself too.
<br>The 'rather die young than live without you' love.
<br>
<br>Endless love where forever and a day is not nearly enough.
<br>The kind of love where you are the cause and cure of my pain.
<br>Violent, fragile, erupting, explosive endless love.
<br>My all to you, or nothing to no one.
<br>Not you. Not me.
<br>
<br>Unbroken, ceaseless, complete love.
<br>
<br>They tell me my head is far up the clouds.
<br>But there are too many mediocre things in life already, why should love be one of them?
<br>
<br>Xxx
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-77312100715254869742011-07-20T05:33:00.001-04:002011-07-20T05:39:48.413-04:00Why can't it be like this?Its 10.15pm.<br />
The flight apparently, was delayed by an hour.<br />
Angry yells go up beside you. Airport officials yelling over people yelling.<br />
No where to sit, except on the huge slabs of concrete on the floor.<br />
Lucky for you, you brought your book along.<br />
You take a seat on one of the 'free-er' slabs. Next to some poor dude that looks like he'd rather be else where. You give him a polite smile as you settle beside him and bring out your book.<br />
<em>'Thats a pretty good book, isnt it?'</em> he says after a few minutes.<br />
You look up for a second and take a look at him. He looks decent, you think.<br />
<em>'Yea it is actually.</em>' You reply.<br />
<em>'Pretty mind boggling I thought it was.</em>' He says again.<br />
<em>'Yea.</em>' You answer, unsure.<br />
<em>'But then her other books got my mind racing as well.'</em> You add, as an afterthought.<br />
<em>'You should read 1984 by George Orwell too. Pretty intense stuff.'</em><br />
<em>'Really?</em>'<br />
...and that is how it began. Before you know it you are yakking on and on about books, and their themes, and plots. And How it affects the greater good of mankind.<br />
Your book is currently long forgotten.<br />
<em>'British Airways ni. British Airways ni.</em>' You over hear someone say.<br />
<em>'Well it looks like thats the flight Im waiting for</em>.' You say.<em>'It was nice talking to you...?'</em><br />
<em>'Seun. And you are?'</em><br />
<em>''Lola'</em><br />
<em>'Okay well, 'Lola. The pleasure is all mine.'</em><br />
<em>'If you want, I have that George Orwell book I was talking about. I could lend it to you sometime if you want?'</em><br />
<em>'Sure! I would like that actually.'</em><br />
...and so you exchange numbers.<br />
<br />
Why can't it always be like this?<br />
Why must people be apalling and come up and say stuff to you like 'Bebe, you are looking sweet today. May I know you?' <br />
<br />
Tell me, how would you like to be <em>'picked up'</em>?Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-4713839643054257212011-07-06T08:10:00.001-04:002011-07-06T08:10:25.742-04:00Unspoken Moments IIAs soon as she walked in, I knew. I felt her presence pulling towards me. It was always like that with her. Like she was an extended part of me. The look on her face was like she had been dragged to this wedding. As always.
<br>As she settled down, I wondered if I should go and say hi. Or sorry.
<br>
<br>After glancing around the room, she finally caught my eye. I looked at her pleadingly, wondering what her reaction would be. She smiled, and for a moment I hesitated. Unsure. Eventually I smiled back. She wasn't one to stay angry for long. Maybe I took that for granted. She giggled and made a mocking face at me, as if to scold me. One of the reasons why I love her so much.
<br>I burst out laughing at her silliness. It always amused me how silly and cute she could be at the same time.
<br>I couldn't help but gaze at her beauty. She wasn't drop dead model gorgeous, and she was no plain jane either. But rather a wholesome warm kind of beautiful that literally radiated from inside out.
<br>Embarrassed she covered her face with her hands. I don't know why it always embarrassed her when I gazed at her like that.
<br>Just then-"Hey honey, we have to get going. We can't be late to my parents'. Again."
<br>
<br>My heart sank. My very pregnant wife jogged my mind back to the present. Don't get me wrong. I love her. My wife, that is. But I love her also. She was the very air I breathed. But she wasn't ready. Not for me. At least I don't think she was.
<br>Sometimes I wonder if its her free spirit that scared me away. Or her open mind.
<br>I got up to follow my wife out, and just then I caught her eye. I pleaded with her to understand. Disappointment flashed through her eyes. Then hurt, then disappointment. It broke my heart to do this to her. Again.
<br>I'm sorry- I mouthed before I left.
<br>
<br>As I led my wife out, a tear escaped my eye. "Honey, I didn't think going to my parents would make you cry?!" My wife said to me alarmed.
<br>I smiled as I gave a kiss on the cheek.
<br>"On the contrary love, I just realized I'm the happiest man alive."
<br>
<br>Xxx
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>
<br>
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-8857310569456570902011-07-04T16:55:00.001-04:002011-07-04T16:55:30.464-04:00Unspoken MomentsTheir eyes met across the crowded room, and all of a sudden her being forced to be at that wedding wasn't such a bad thing. She relaxed a little, and smiled at him. In that moment, a thousand words were said between them. A thousand promises were made. A thousand secrets shared. A thousand lives together. A thousand unspoken moments.
<br>It was like no time had passed since she saw him.
<br>She thought of all the cuss words she had planned to rain on him and smiled as forgiveness tugged at her heart.
<br>He smiled back, a little hesitant.
<br>She giggled at his cautiousness and he burst out laughing like she had cracked a joke. She pouted and mockingly raised her eyebrow at him as if to reprimand him. He burst out laughing some more spilling his drink on the table.
<br>After several fits of laughter, they slowly calmed down. He held her gaze for a few moments. As if trying to take in all her beauty. He smiled and she blushed. She covered her face with her hands. Embarrassed.
<br>In a room full of 500 people, it was just the two of them. Nobody else mattered. Nobody else existed.
<br>
<br>It was like time had stood still and drawn her into him.
<br>Again. Like always.
<br>
<br>She didn't complain. She liked being there. Drawn into him.
<br>
<br>Just then something obstructed her view of him. She took that moment to check her reflection in her compact mirror.
<br>When she looked up, her face fell. He was being led away by a very pretty, very pregnant woman.
<br>He turned around and caught her eye. 'I'm sorry' he mouthed.
<br>That was when she noticed it. With his hand on the small of her back, he carefully led her away. Stopping to kiss her as they exited the building.
<br>A thousand promises going with them. A thousand lives shattered. A thousand unspoken betrayals.
<br>
<br>He was hers till death did them part.
<br>For them, life had just begun.
<br>Hers ended when they walked out the door.
<br>
<br>
<br>Xxx
<br>Fabulo-la
<br>
<br>
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-75345725023512631862011-06-19T17:03:00.001-04:002011-06-19T17:03:45.723-04:00Death Be not Proud"...though some have called thee
<br>Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so."
<br>
<br>Or are you?
<br>
<br>To what end did You bring me here?
<br>That I may hold her hand while You slowly take her from me?
<br>That she may not be alone while her body feasts on itself?
<br>
<br>What exactly is Your plan?
<br>Because You always have a plan.
<br>Tell me the lesson that I may learn it quickly.
<br>
<br>I am not Job.
<br>Do not test my righteousness, because I will fall...
<br>I will fall farther than where You found me.
<br>I will fall deeper into the abyss of faithlessness.
<br>
<br>
<br>Take me instead.
<br>Do not punish her for my sins.
<br>Do not forsake the ones to whom she is their all.
<br>Take me instead, that she may live to declare your glory.
<br>
<br>
<br>"Death be not proud..."
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-35390202704884530672011-06-09T23:23:00.001-04:002011-06-09T23:23:57.798-04:00What Way?Walking down the path of the way that seems to be right, but the stick in my eye prevents a clear view. My lamp of Judgement aiding my way. My holier-than-thou cloak protecting me against the chill of the pleading stares of passers by, going in the opposite direction, warning me of the stick in my eye. But with the bright light of my 'Judgement lamp' in their faces, they cower away. <br>How can I with my badge of 'morally upright-ness' associate myself with them?<br>I pass by a mirror and notice a little stain in my cloak. Black tar-like stain that seems to be growing by the second. I try to wipe it off but it only spreads. Covering it in 'hypocrisy' I leave it. Afterall if no one can see it, it really isn't there. <br>But as I trudge on, the cloak seems to get heavier and the path dimmer. I refill my judgement lamp with some 'I-am-better-than-you' oil. Just then a passer-by warns me of the trail of tar I am leaving behimd and offers to help me clean the cloak. <br>I yell, accusing her of trying to distract me from the way of the 'right'. <br>I spit at her, only for the spit to land on my face. <br>Just then I notice scores of other passers by rushing past me. Right infront of me is the woman who warned me of the stick in my eye. She is in a corner washing away the tar from her cloak. <br>"Aren't you going in the wrong direction?" she says to me. <br>'Hmm!' I say to her as I walk hurriedly past her. Careful not to let my cloak get anywhere near her in case she 'stains' it. <br>The irony. <br>I hurry along stumbling, as the cloak has gotten heavier and is soaking through my hypocrisy. The stick in my eye has grown and is protruding out my eyeball. <br>Suddenly I trip and I'm falling. Slowly into a hole. My life if flashed before my eyes and I realise...<br>I dug the hole with my bare hands. Covered it with hypocrisy and pretence, and now here I am. <br>Or am not. <p><br>Walking down the path of the way that seems to be right, but the stick in my eye prevents a clear view.<br>I lay my judgement lamp and walk to the 'mirror of truth' to remove the stick in my eye. <p>And it hurts....<p><br>Xxx<br>Fabulo-la<p>
<br>Sent from my CrackBerry® device.Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-51182010173437825262011-04-21T05:32:00.001-04:002011-04-21T05:34:47.490-04:00Mental BattlesThere is a battle waging in my head.<br />
The battle between...acceptance and...refusal.<br />
Acceptance of the mediocrity that has ravished this place.<br />
And refusing to panic in the event that I might have made the biggest mistake ever.<br />
Where does one begin?<br />
What does one do?<br />
Reject the widely accepted passivity of the shadiness that is considered a norm?<br />
But to what end?<br />
To what means?<br />
How will anything get done?<br />
Across the Atlantic, the ease to spit criticism, and demand that things be different is alarming.<br />
But not apparent until you get to this side of the Atlantic, where mediocrity is the ruler of the land,<br />
and excellence, service and honor have been exiled for life.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
There is a battle waging in my head,<br />
but what Im really wondering is<br />
Is there any hope at all?<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
Fabulo-la<br />
<br />
<br />
P.S. Im not dead, I just need ideas/inspiration on what to write.<br />
Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments ;)Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-90036243712422841802011-02-15T15:33:00.000-05:002011-02-15T15:33:33.737-05:00Hell Hath No Fury.<i><br />
</i><br />
Ha ha ha. Is this a joke?<br />
"<i>Im real sorry babe. It was never my intention to hurt you</i>." -Excuse me? He doesn't want to hurt me? Yet here he is, telling he doesn't love me anymore? He loves her? HER?<br />
Ha ha ha. This is a joke. Yea it is.<br />
<i>Click.</i><br />
When he sleeps on it, his mind will clear and he'll call and apologise.<br />
He has to.<br />
Ha ha ha.<br />
<br />
<b>~Denial~</b><br />
He cant mean it. He is really breaking up with me? Over her? For her?<br />
No. No. No!<br />
He cant. I wont let him.<br />
"<i>Oh please baby...after everything we've been through...its been 3 years...we can get through this..we've gotten through worse...</i>"<br />
I plead with him like a helpless child.<br />
"<i>Please...</i>" I whisper. He gives me a stern look.<br />
"<i>Im sorry babe, but its over.</i>" With that he leaves my apartment. Not even good bye.<br />
"<i>Nooo! Babe please!</i>" I wail after him.<br />
"<i>Dont leave me</i>!"<br />
I cant believe it. He is really leaving me. My mind cant wrap around it. My heart can't take it. Its not strong enough. I clutch my chest at the pain that i feel.<br />
"<i>Dont leave me</i>!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"...Some people want it all,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I don't want nothing at all</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If it ain't you baby</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If I ain't got you baby..."</i></div><b><br />
</b><br />
<b>~Depression~</b><br />
Its been a week. I haven't moved from the mess that is my bed. My eyes are sore from weeping. My chest hurts from the pain in my heart. My nose is running and I haven't bothered to clean it. Let it run. Let it run. Let the mucus drip and soak my bed and clothes. What difference will it make?<br />
My heart is broken. My world is crashing, and I have no way to stop it.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"...Baby I will wait for you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Cause I dont know what else I can do</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Dont tell em I ran out of time</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If it takes the rest of my life...</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>No matter what I have to do, i will wait for you."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><b>~Anger~</b><br />
Everything pisses me off. The heifer in the back of the class slapping the gum with her tongue. The foolish junior in the lab that can't crystallize the damn silicon to the right size. The incompetent teaching assistant that cant explain a simple absorption column. What the f**k is wrong in the world? is everyone trying to piss me off on purpose???<br />
Oh I know what it is. It is all HIS f**king fault. Oh yea, it is. It certainly is.<br />
If he thinks, he can just walk into my life, love me like a woman, and then just leave me?<br />
Oh, he has GOT to be mistaken.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Ring the Alarm!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Ive been through this too long</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I'll be DAMNED if I see another chick on your arm.."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<b>~Rage~</b><br />
Ha ha. Look at his pathetic self. Holding her like she is the most precious thing in the world.<br />
Whore. Too engrossed in each other to even notice they are being followed.<br />
Not like they'll know its even me anyways, disquised in the largest pants and the biggest hoodie I could find in the college bookstore. I look like a gangster from the south side of town. I would scare myself if I wasn't so distracted by my mission.<br />
Yes my mission. I was going to attack the bitch and maybe re-arrange her face a little.<br />
But that would mean assault and battery. Not sure how a criminal record would look on my PhD applications. But then again, it might add that little pazzaz I need to get in you know?<br />
Well maybe to a psych program. Not sure the Chemical Engineering departments would find it amusing. I had thought of making a mixture and mailing it to her apartment, but then..they would trace it back to me. No. Then I would be put on the 'no fly' list and..No.<br />
I'll just settle for destroying the most important thing to him.<br />
His precious little sports car.<br />
I walk to where he parked Elise. Yea.<br />
His precious 2007 Nissan 350z, that he has been working on, and fixing up for the last 2 years. Oh yea..<br />
"<i>Poor Elise...</i>" I whisper as I finger the length of her.<br />
"<i>Poor girl.</i>" I say as I put my cheek to the hood as if listening to her heartbeat. All 6 cylinders of her.<br />
"<i>Im real sorry babe. No hard feelings</i>" I say. With that, I climb onto Elise and with one swift practiced motion, I swing.<br />
And then I can't stop.<br />
I had meant to just take out his windscreen, but why stop there? All the windows, the mirrors. And tires. The adrenalin rush is exhilarating. The seats.<br />
Heaving, I stop. I think its enough.<br />
He will <b>NEVER</b> forget.<br />
"<i>Im really sorry Elise</i>." With that I drop the bat. And walk away. Smiling.<br />
<br />
<b>~Acceptance~</b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"I bust the windows out your car</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You should feel lucky that was all I did</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>....I must admit it helped a little bit</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>to think of how you'd feel when you saw it"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">But why am I still crying?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Heaven has no rage, like love to Hatred turned,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 23px;">True story. Well some of it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 23px;">xxx</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 23px;">-Fabulo-la</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span></span></div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7670271132940320060.post-53424241975106601712010-12-25T19:45:00.000-05:002010-12-25T19:45:53.693-05:00Dead-WeightThe hardest lesson I've had to learn this year, is that not every friend is a 'friend-forever'.<br />
Its a little painful when you realize though, that some people have absolutely no more use in your life.<br />
Maybe once upon a time, you were sure you would be friends for lifetimes to come. But then they just dropped off the face of your earth and somehow... you can't pick up where you left off.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>Friends forever,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Forever friends?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Only in Care-Bear-Wonderland.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div>Earlier this year, I asked God to remove 'dead-weight' friends from my life. You know, those people that are not adding anything at all. I only just realized, he totally did.<br />
I thought of a certain someone today, and sadly I know that if we ever crossed paths again it just wouldn't be the same. I almost miss them but...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Friends come,</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>friends go,</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>I think its time </i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>To let you go.</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Everyone has a purpose in your life. Are you fulfilling your purpose in theirs?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I don't want to move into the new year with 'dead-weight'. Do you?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Rotate your mind.</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Neither do I want to be a 'dead-weight' friend to anyone.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Reflect your heart.</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">There is only one 'Friend-for-ever' anyways. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I know Him. (<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Or at least I think I do</span>)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Do you?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Happy New Year.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">xxx</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Fabulo-la</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Fabulo-lahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328069706170342492noreply@blogger.com22